A couple of images of light to illustrate my post. The first is my now somewhat burned down Advent candles. The second shot is really a sunset taken from the balcony outside my room looking west. It was beautiful and unusual.
DIL and I have been back to my former home and have collected everything that was on my list except my childhood oak desk which we could not manage between us. It's in the attic and needs my sons to get it down the steep access ladder.
My clothes had been thrown into bags, a fact which made me angry, until DIL pointed out it reduced the time we had to spend there. I have spent a long time going in through them.
This has had a surprising result to me. I have thrown out a lot of stuff. I've sorted what can really be used by others and this will go to Reverse Garbage or Vinnies or similar. The rest I have thrown. It was not really good for anything much at all.
As I went through things I remembered many events. Some good, some bad, happy and sad. At the end I felt relief. I felt a lightness as I freed myself from some of the memories by stuffing the clothing into rubbish bags. Some things should have been replaced long ago, but I always felt guilty about spending money on myself. Perhaps, it was not that I felt guilt, but had guilt laid on me and I accepted it as being easier to cope with than the scenes I knew could follow.
I do feel "lighter." It's something I should have done ages ago. I know I'll be looked after, I always have been. It's hard to put aside the thought that perhaps something should be kept "just in case." A heavy weight has been lifted from my mind by freeing myself of those physical things and I definitely feel a lightness in my spirit. Yes, this can be knocked around by an email etc, but there is a light to follow and walk in.